BSD Advertising - Index

BSD Advertising - bsdadvertising - Index

12
DRIVE SAFELY HUMOR
Rivke Gerstenblit
Now that the price of gas has gone
down, I am not sure what to do with all
the excess cash that I have lying around.
Unfortunately, I might have to dedicate
these funds to the cost of speeding tickets,
seeing that the route that I most commonly
follow on my daily jaunts happens to be
riddled with speed traps. These cunning
policemen hide in the same exact spot
on a constant basis and I still barely, by
the skin of my teeth, manage to not get
a ticket.
I am comforted by the thought that I cannot
be the only crazy one. I would feel pretty
stupid if I was the only scatterbrained
person in the tri-state area who didn’t
appreciate the fact that if I have seen a
policeman monitoring this road, in this
exact spot, several times already, chances
are it may happen again. However,
the police haven’t found it necessary
to change their concealed positions at
anytime in the five years I have traveled
ad nauseum through the streets of this
town. This leads me to believe that they
are still successfully apprehending victims
of their clandestine observation.
What possesses a person not to realize
the probability of being caught speeding
on one of these targeted roads. After
giving it a lot of thought I have come to
the conclusion that it is the probability that
is giving people the incentive to speed. I
figure I am saving approximately $20 a
week in gas. Over a two month period this
translates into the cost of one speeding
ticket. If I go 40 mph on all 30 mph zones,
without vigilance, chances are I will get
approximately one speeding ticket every
two months. Please note, I am not an
actuary so this might be faulty reasoning.
Unfortunately, in addition to the one ticket
every two months, I might actually get into
an accident here or there so I might need
to find another way to spend my extra gas
money.
Bearing the accident likelihood in mind I
try to adhere to the speed limit, especially
on streets where I know there might be
a policeman lurking. This can be a bit
intimidating though because of all the
other motorists that have decided to take
their chances with the one ticket every two
months, accidents and all, seem to resent
my slow motion. Usually they are large
SUV’s, even though I hate to stereotype, I
will anyway (It’s widely known that usually
people who hate to stereotype end up
using stereotypes). These large SUV’s
loom up behind me, as if by coming
really close to me they will convince me
to go over the speed limit and chance
a ticket. Driving close behind me is not
going to convince me. Driving up along
side me and handing me the cost of a
speeding ticket, plus whatever price I put
on the time that I would waste in traffic
court, might persuade me to speed up
just a bit. If it really means that much to
you I will rethink my stance on safety and
responsibility.
In actuality the speed limit seems a bit
unrealistic. Speed limits should really
be decided by taking a vote and letting
majority rule. I don’t know who came up
with 30 mph, but obviously no one is very
comfortable driving at that speed. Instead
of speeding tickets, the policeman should
stop you, log in your speed and submit it
as a vote. At the end of the voting period
they would tally up all the speeds and
whatever the average speed is would be
made the official speed limit.
Unfortunately, the money I am saving on
gas is not sufficient enough to fund a run
for public office. While this idea is great
and could possibly save you a lot of time
and money, there is no end to the time
and money that can be lost by not being
safe. So don’t try any of this at home.
Drive safely.